The debut book ‘Nuts and Bolts of Manipulation” offers a multidisciplinary approach manipulative behaviors ingrained in human psychology. The psychological manipulation book throws light on dark psychology of human mind which manifests itself in narcissistic behaviors, emotional manipulation, financial manipulation, manipulation at workplace, sexual manipulation and psychological manipulation in relationship. Though the main focus of the book is to develop strategies to counter and avoid the manipulation, it also throws light on the necessity of manipulation and how to manipulate people for self preservation. In an attempt to assemble a wide array of covert emotional manipulation tactics, the book incorporates interesting fables and stories of manipulation.
A known enemy is always better than an unknown friend. We must learn to trust our intuitions, the author explains, “This book is NOT about commonplace and well known manipulation tactics. It is about the subtle kind of manipulation which often goes unnoticed. You get a hunch, your gut tells you that you are being manipulated, but you can’t exactly put your finger on it. This is exactly the kind of manipulation, you should be wary about. If you know it, you can be well prepared to defend yourself against the manipulation.”
The author’s goal in the book is to dissect the art of manipulation and enhance his readers’ perspective by making them aware of the psychological manipulation techniques. Kind and honest people are easier to manipulate because they project their kindness and honesty onto other people. In a strong passage, he asserts: “Throwing money at complete strangers in hopes they will appreciate your generosity and help you in any way is foolhardy.”
If you have ever been in relationship with a narcissist or a person with borderline personality disorder, you would know very well how a narcissist manipulator uses your guilt to manipulate you, the feeling of being gaslighted and other passive-aggressive manipulation techniques. It is therefore important to understand the early signs of emotional manipulation in a relationship, especially if you are a empathetic person or someone with low self esteem.
In fact, the author explains, “People with low self-esteem often fall prey to such manipulations. Future is unknown and what is unknown scares people. Manipulator calms your anxieties about future and presents themselves as someone whom you can trust and make part of your future life and adventurous. This gets you overly invested in the relationship. When the dreams you saw are threatened and future plans go down the drain, you cling hard to the manipulator in hopes of getting the things back to normal. To get back the lost control on your life. At this point when you should walk away from manipulator, you begin to see him as a challenge. Instead of lowering your investment and cutting loses, you begin to further invest in the relationship to conquer the challenge of turning manipulator into someone who you wish they were. You keep your hopes on. It is a fallacy. Manipulator was never the one who they claimed to be. He was simply gaslighting you. It was just a mask which fell off when you were no longer of any use to them. By keeping in touch with the manipulator you get yourself further bullied and manipulated. If you are of no longer useful to them they would discard you, or do something horrible so are forced to leave them.“
When we over-invest in someone, we fail to recognize manipulative behavior and tend to ignore major red flags. The psychological manipulation book, “Nuts and Bolts of Manipulation”, explains how and why we cling to a miserable status quo due to a fear of change, scarcity mindset and low self-esteem. It removes the curtains of willful ignorance which make us victim of manipulation and a tool of self-amusement for manipulative and controlling people. It teaches you how to tell if someone is trying to manipulate you. This can enable you to better avoid the trauma associated with manipulative relationships. It is better to be alone that to be with people who lie and manipulate.
The fables and stories subtly refer to manipulation tactics used by powerful people and countries to achieve their strategically and political motives. The prolix narrative style and concept presented in the book give the audience a lot to think about human psychology. It is a great addition to the books about psychological manipulation techniques.
You should read the book if you want to explore the subtle facets of manipulation in our day-to-day life and interactions. The book suggests ways to gently and gradually attain self sufficiency and lower our dependence on others in order to avoid being cheated, abused and manipulated.